I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
