Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
