the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
