It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I think your dad took our porno
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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