He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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