Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
being pregnant is like rehab
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
