i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
