His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
