I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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