Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
