can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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