Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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