he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
