ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
