I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
