I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
