hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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