I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
