Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
