Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
