I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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