I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
