i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
