As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
