are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
