Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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