its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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