I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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