Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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