it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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