You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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