I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I want a musical about memes.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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