Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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