3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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