so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
