Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
