Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
