You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
