The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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