Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
