If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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