ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
