Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
