so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
