Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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