My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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