is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
