omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
