You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
