i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
