it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
